haiz.... life's so "Out of Control" this days...
non of the things goes the way i want it to be...
not even close to Good =_="'
argh..... Fuck it, hate it!!!

sometimes i really just hate some A$$h0L3s
that dosent respect other ppl's way of thinking
and the way ppl feels for the crap word "Love" =_____="'

and IF you are reading this by any chances..

If that's the way you think of me then FINE!!!
DON'T EVER FUCKING THINK THAT
I'LL FKING LIKE YOU IN THE FUTURE TIME,
NOT EVEN FOR A BIT, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!!!

haiz..... feel like crying now..... :'(

一盏黄黄旧旧的灯 / 时间在旁闷不吭声
yi zhan huang huang jiu jiu de deng / shi jian zai pang men bu keng sheng
An old yellow lamp / time beside me, not making a sound

寂寞下手毫无分寸 / 不懂得轻重之分
ji mo xia shou hao wu fen cun / bu dong de qing zhong zhi fen
Loneliness mercilessly on me / not knowing different intensities (of light and hard)

沉默支撑跃过陌生 / 静静看着凌晨黄昏
chen mo zhi cheng yue guo mo sheng / jing jing kan zhe ling chen huang hun
Quietness has crossed over to strangeness / quietly looking at morning and sunset

你的身影 / 失去平衡 / 慢慢下沉
ni de shen ying / shi qu ping heng / man man xia chen
Your silhouette / losing balance / falling slowly

黑暗已在空中盘旋 / 该往哪我看不见
hei an yi zai kong zhong pan xuan / gai wang na wo kan bu jian
Darkness is already encircling us in the sky / where I should face? I can't see

也许爱在梦的另一端 / 无法存活在真实的空间
ye xu ai zai meng de ling yi duan / wu fa cun huo zai zhen shi de kong jian
Perhaps love is at the other end of a dream / unable to survive in the realms of reality

Chorus

想回到过去 / 试著抱你在怀里
xiang hui dao guo qu / shi zhe bao ni zai huai li
Want to return to the past / to try to hug you

羞怯的脸带有一点稚气
xiu qie de lian dai you yi dian zhi qi
Blushing (shy) face has a little childish side

想看你的看的世界 / 想在你梦的画面
xiang kan ni de kan de shi jie / xiang zai ni meng de hua mian
Want to see the world you see / want to be in your dreams

只要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜
zhi yao kao zai yi qi jiu neng gan jue tian mi
Only if we lean on each other can we feel the sweetness (or blissfulness)

想回到过去 / 试著让故事继续
xiang hui dao guo qu / shi zhe rang gu shi ji xu
Want to return to the past / to try to allow the story to continue

至少不再让你离我而去
zhi shao bu zai rang ni li wo er qu
At least I won't allow you to leave me again

分散时间的注意 / 这次会抱得更紧
fen san shi jian de zhu yi / zhe ci hui bao de geng jin
I'll take note when we part / to hug you even tighter

这样挽留不知 / 还来不来得及
zhe yang wan liu bu zhi / hai lai bu lai de jii
This sort of salvage effort, I don't know if it's still in time

想回到过去
xiang hui dao guo qu
Want to return to the past

思绪不断阻挡著回忆播放
si xu bu duan zu dang zhe hui yi bo fang
Emotions keep stopping the memories playing (in my head)

盲目的追寻仍然空空荡荡
mang mu de zhui xun reng ran kong kong dang dang
Blindly chasing and looking yet still empty-handed (or in vain)

灰蒙蒙的夜晚睡意又不知躲到哪去
hui meng meng de ye wan shui yi you bu zhi duo dao na qu
On a grey and unclear night, I don't know where sleep has hidden

一转身孤单已躺在身旁
yi zhuan shen gu dan yi tang zai shen pang
Before I know it loneliness is already lying beside me

Repeat Chorus

沉默支撑跃过陌生 / 静静看着凌晨黄昏
chen mo zhi cheng yue guo mo sheng / jing jing kan zhe ling chen huang hun
Quietness has crossed over to strangeness / quietly looking at morning and sunset

你的身影 / 失去平衡 / 慢慢下沉
ni de shen ying / shi qu ping heng / man man xia chen
Your silhouette / losing balance / falling slowly

想回到过去
xiang hui dao guo qu
Want to return to the past

this song is so awesome!!! :D
hope you guys enjoy it :)

Lyrics : Matsumoto Hitoshi
Music : Makihara Noriyuki
Performer : Hamada Masatoshi & Makihara Noriyuki

sometimes,
i really just can't believe in what
others said about love..

at first they say they are inlove with
you like they never had..
yet in the end they just give
you a pile of bullshit...!!
haiz...... =___="'

wtf is wrong with this world now a days man...??!

there's no one piece this week due to
Oda-Sensei is taking this week off
to further prepare for the future chapters D:

Nooooooooo~~~ Dx
oh well... ):
guess i'll have to wait again..... D:

p/s: i got my salary d... yay!!! XD

wooohooo!!!!!
found a very intresting webside which translate your snglish name to japanese :P

this is my Japanese name :P

Zen
Kanji - 禅
Katakana - ゼソ
Hiragana - ぜん
Pronounc - Ze-n

my name in japanese is actually means "meditation"
in both japanese and chinese :D
so awesome right??? :D
hehehehehe..... XD

got "ABIT" pissed by what jayson said
yesterday through the phone,

so lets not just waste the time,
here's how it gose.....

few days ago, debra and alicia was talking
about a few days trip to genting on
this coming Nov /Dec's holiday...

i was curious about it since they Never told
me a single thing about this trip to genting

so i somehow butt in and ask

Me: "A trip to genting? when??" o.O
Debra: "ehh... not sure yet.. maybe this coming Nov or Dec.. but i dont think u want to come..."
Me: "Why....??"
Debra: " 'Cause its a Couple trip"
Me: "well i dont mind.. i mean, i'm use to it? lol!"
Debra: "ehh... ok..."

so i ask her can she make an exception for me to come along...
i mean... u know.....
i'm single.... =___="'

Debra: "ehh... i'm not sure... cause this is not my plan"
Me: "oh really?? then who's"
Debra: "it's OUR plan"
Me: "erm.... ok... then can you try ask for me?"
Debra: "ok i'll try"

then later at the evening
around 5 i went to
the padang with debra and kiki

we chat and chat and chat
until a call from debra's phone rang...
at first i and kiki not sure who's on the line

and so she talks quite awhile...
it was about the trip actually
so i was like ask her to ask about the "Exception"
and so she ask...
few sec later..

the answer came out...
it was a "No"..

so i ask why can't i come..
i mean almost every single one of my Best friend are going..
and i'm just been left out..... :(

she ask why,
then she put it on loudspeaker
which the person on the line
was clueless about it
and guess who's on the line?
it was jayson!!

Jayson(On the line): " i'm sorry that she can't come cause she's single and it was a couple trip and bla bla bla bla bla....... etc etc"
(forgoten what he have said =.="')
Debra: "so she really can't come la???"
Jayson: "well can also, ask she go get a boyfriend la"
Debra: "but she was to come ALONE"
Jayson: "then like that cannot la, well can also la, ask she to pay up all the bills for each and every one of us, if she agrees then she can come la!!"
Me: "W.T.F?!"

at that moment i heard this i was friggin' pissed!
i forgoten what i've said but i thing it gose like this la....

Me: "hey, i'm fine with it ok... so please~~~~~?"
Jayson: "well i'm sorry la sayang, if you really want to come, go get a BoyFriend or Pay up the bill"
*slicent for a while.....*
Me: "you know what Fine, if that's the deal then FINE, F.I.N.E, FINE!!! I'M NOT COMING!!"

at that moment i really really friggin pissed off by what he said!


although i know its a so called "Couple Trip" and
i also know that i dont have a "BoyFriend"
though i could come i mean,
All my friend are going and its a Holiday trip
but if all my friend are going,
dosen't that means i'm all alone?
you can't possibily left me out?
would you???

but you know what he says?
"Ohhh no~~~~~ you can't come cause you are single!"

Fine, Screw it! >:(

i ain't gonna ask some random guy
to go genting with me just because
i'm single and i can't go genting with them!
that's make it so CHEAP

plus, is 1 girl 1 boy in a room!!!!
FCK IT, that's make it MORE friggin' CHEAP!!!!!

C-H-E-A-P!!!!!
you better REmember to spell it correctly
cause seems to me YOU my friend,
DOSEN'T KNOW WHAT'S THE MEANING OF CHEAP!!!!!

And what makes you think i would
WILLING to pay up all the Fking bill
if i'm allow to come in single?!

you go DREAM about it la!
i'm not gonna pay a penny even if i'm going!

Fcking screw it!!

you know what, you guys can have your fun!
i ain't gonna go even if you beg me!
i'm happy for being single!
and i dont need sympathize with it!!

SCREW YOU AND F OFF!!!!!!
BYE!!!!!!! >:(

p/s: oh ya FYI, Jayson got a GirlFriend already!
and he never FKING TOLD ME!!!!
FINE!!! F IT!!!!!

Pp/s: SCREWED COUPLE AND RELATIONSHIP!!!!!
I DONT NEED A GUY TO LED ON!!!!! >:(

been recalling all the so called
"GOOD-Memories" since few days ago...
and i started to realize something,
all the Memories that i have been
"collecting" since the day i was born..
non of them are "GOOD"

in other words,
all of them, No matter good or bad..
both are just the same..... ._.
BAD!!!

.............
ya...... =___=

and i did a calculation of it
for almost 97% out of 100% in my brain,
all of them are just a REAL-Pain-In-A$$ Memories
WHICH i Seriously, NOT In A BILLION YEARS
I dont wish to remember it!!
Not a Single ONE of them!!

you know...
somehow i really hope,wish and expect
in the coming future there would be
some REAL genius scientist that could invent somethings
that can Wash Away,Delete or Re-Format your brain's memory

Like a Computer!
you can Just delete all the file that u dont need it
by just dumping it in to the recycle bin
or Re-Format your brain like a computer computer!
It remove completly without leaving a single trace
and it can never be revert back again

or maybe in the future days i had a car crash
that makes my memory dejected permanently
or so on......

it Seriously drive me nuts just to
remembering it...!
i HATE it!!

i seriously hate my so Called "GOOD Memories".....
sigh..... :'(

yay~ finally got back my glasses!!!!! XD
wow seriously man...
this new one was way better then my old one

and trust me, this new one
i could actually see
more clear and fether then my old one

wow.... O.O"'
so geng right.... XP
hehehehehe
k that's it 4 now!
bye~! XP

ergh....
been half blind since last friday...
now all i see is blury things
can't actually seem words clearly too ._."'
dammmmmm.....

i'm finally Recovered from my sickness!!!!! XD
well... actually recovered quite long ago
just that i'm lazy to blog bout it...
so anyway...

finally play back maple ._."'
and also somehow got addicted
to a Japanese Game Show name
"Gaki no Tsukai" Means No Laughing ._."'
pretty much intresting and
funny at the same time XD
hahahahaha.....

and there's some part also pretty much "Ewww?!"
LoL~
so that's it for now
Off i go
Bye~ :P

ergh....... ="=
didn't went to school today
cause i'm sick?
pretty bad actually... =.=

PUKE twice yesterday
no wait, make it three times..
ergh... whatever..
friggin' disgusting though.. ="=
and having fever too...

haiz..... :?

school today was a total crap...
it was so dammmmm bored :/
haiz....

and i had myself a "VERY" good company
through the day....

1st is Ms.Red,
who came to visit every once a month..

this morning..
my stomach was like friggin' pain that
i was like a plaintive whine...
and during recess time..
when i'm walking down the stairs..
i couldn't even walk properly at all.. =_="'
seems to me i look like a drunk person ==
dammmmmmit...

next is after school....
today i have no idea what happen to stomach
just right after i came back from school..
i suddenly feeling kinda sick..
ranning to the toilet and guess what happen?

i Puke what i ate last night.....
yes i know is Friggin' Disgusting!!!!! DX
and trust me...
the smell is like a Friggin' shit!!! )X
ergh....

took a few mints to puke finish
and trust me..
my stomach feels Friggin' pain in d ass..... =.="'
haiz....

guess i'ma gonna get sick soon....
haiz...... ._."'

一群嗜血的蚂蚁 被腐肉所吸引
我面无表情 看孤独的风景
失去你 爱恨开始分明
失去你 还有什么事好关心
当鸽子不再象徵和平
我终于被提醒
广场上喂食的是秃鹰
我用漂亮的押韵
形容被掠夺一空的爱情

啊 乌云开始遮蔽 夜色不干净
葬园里 葬礼的回音 在漫天飞行
送你的 白色玫瑰 在纯黑的环境凋零
乌鸦在树枝上诡异的很安静
静静听 我黑色的大衣
想温暖你 日渐冰冷的回忆
走过的 走过的 生命
啊 四周弥漫雾气
我在空旷的墓地 老去后还爱你

为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲很轻
我给的思念很小心
你埋葬的地方叫幽冥

为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印

那些断翅的蜻蜓 散落在这森林
而我的眼睛 没有丝毫同情
失去你 爱恨开始分明
失去你 我连笑容都有阴影
风在长满青苔的屋顶
嘲笑我的伤心
像一口没有水的枯井
我用凄美的字型 描绘后悔莫及的那爱情

为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲很轻
我给的思念很小心
你埋葬的地方叫幽冥

为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印

if lets say tomorrow i'ma gonna die,
and leave this world without anyone knowing..
would anyone actually notice?

hmmmmm....
probably not.. :/

there's no different weather
i'm leaving this world or not..
'cause...

no one actually realize that
i'm exist in this world!! ._."'

haiz....
pretty much gonna be emo for a few days again.....
sigh...... ("'TT ATT)/

She's falling apart,
She's be torn into broken pieces,
It really hurts her Hell alot,
It can Never be removed like a tattoo,
And it can NEVER be recover again,
Never·Ever·Again....

She knew that a person like her can never
find someone that will truthfully love her,
Yet she keeps trying,
Wishing and Hoping that one day she could find that person..

But still...
In the end, She got rejected....

"Is it really that hard to be Loved by someone?"
She thinks...

She tried so many times,
Yet it failed..

She's always jealous of her friend
who has a partner they Love so much..

And as the day gose by,
She Began to be forgotten by her friends...

She felt so lonely,
That no one loves her,
Is it really that hard for her to be loved?

She likes him, but he turn down on her...
He never answer anything as she cry out "I Love You"
Only saying that he's inlove with someone else...

She couldn't control her emotional..
She felt that its meaningless for her to continue living on,

All she want was just to be by his side,
But now it can Never came true...

It will be hard for her to learn to give him up,
Because She Loves Him so much.....

since yesterday night
i'm started to be a little out of mood
something like my mood is falling apart or so...
hmmmmm....
how am i gonna say this...

haiz....
don't know..
don't care....
don't wanna care 'bout it too anyway....

haiz...... :/

ABOUT ME♥

Just another Average 16 Going to be 17year's old Girl that Love Mapling, OnePiece Very Much...
Z♥JJ(JY) LotsLots~ ^.^/

One Piece♥

Life is “Adventurous”
Be aware it's “Dangerous”
Who's gonna be “One of us”
And a trip goes on because,
We da pirate of the “Mass”
To the West, To the East
Gotta find my way, Sail away
All the way to “One piece”!!