.Tuesday, August 04, 2009 ' 6:41 AM Y
& your love is all i ever wanted
one question to the World..
what's the purpose for my living?
can anyone tell me?
i seriously dont get it...
few days ago i fought up with my friends
and i even back step my friend
friend said to me...
"Because of you my life is ruin,
THANKS for Ruin MY LIFE!!"
few weeks back my family scold me
for being suck a troblem maker at my age..
even though then didn't say it out
but i can feel it from there heart
i bet they wanted to say thing like this to me...
"your fault is BEING in this world!!"
"your mere existence is YOUR SIN"
...... etc etc
you know...
until now i still dont get it..
if my mother said that she
regreted giving birth me for
being such a troublem maker
then y didn't she abortion
me at the 1st place??
y am i still on this world?
what's my purpose anyway?
for being such a troblem maker?
i dont know...
i NEVER wanted to live in this world
i felt like i dont EVEN belong to THIS World
for me who is being in this world
makes them feel VERY loathsome...
and Very troublemsome too...
on that day when i fought up with my friends
i really wanted to jump off the school building
but in the end i didnt
but still
if i really wanted to
i would just jump off
i dont wanna care about the world anymore
friends and family dont really care that much
for me like how they use to since i'm just a troublem maker
my life's getting sucker and sucker each day
and each day i keep making MORE and MORE troublem for everyone
is their right to hate me or dislike me anyway..
i dont deserve to be like or love by anyone
and its ALSO my fault for living in this world too
i'm good for nothing...
haiz.....
i'm a girl but my intention
makes me a guy(or worst then a guy)
i betrayed my friends,
i betrayed my family,
i even betrayed my self..
if depart from this world could
atlease make them feel better or felt peaceful
i think i would do it
i dunno what am i suppose to do in this world anyway...
What am i suppose to do?
can anyone tell me? :(
